Here we are, with the obvious activity being to wait. It seems a very comfortable state for me. Nothing expected, no immediate anxieties to overcome. My remaining hours in Cusco are dwindling and I watch them, as everywhere, time does some thing forward.
Yesterday I found place here and saw myself happy. So of course I must go on. It is not my journey to fill the void externally. I am so lucky to wander, as lonesome as I do. What I found yesterday were people who warmed me, understood me, sang to me and pulled me upwards. But I still do not understand me and while my light is no doubt brightening, I have some ways to go. So tonight, I fly and continue to light the way through the vastness beyond. Until then, I wait…
It turns out the butterfly is actually a moth and we relate more than I imagined, as it beats against the window. I am also struggling for inspiration in here. Along with Christmas music in November and a $5 tea, comes this stifled feeling. Did I really need wifi and a North American outlet to charge my phone?
The moth and I can see down into the square, where predictable tourists linger and…wait! Everything changes; A unique and beautiful woman walks this way with purpose. I know her. It was her and partner who guided me in group meditation last night. They were dressed exceptionally for the ceremony, beaming at one another, as she periodically reached for his heart in honesty. We joined around a painting he had created, a flower of gratitude that seemed entirely alive. To start, they flashed fire and feathers along with these smiles and I fell a little bit in love with her glow in the dark. We all were made comfortable, laying on pillows in a circle as they moved through the group creating some thing like music. The sounds and vibrations were intended to lead along a journey within and I was not disappointed. I sensed the path of my soul; abandon, struggle and continual search overcame all. Yet the sound of the ever loving universe was always in the background and really, how I longed to meet it. I never lost hope as things came together and the eventual union was indescribable, yet so familiar. Sounds and voices joined as I vibrated so highly and completely with all that was pure. It was perfect and I am still humming a melody today.
I would have stayed with them forever, if only she had asked me. Upon introduction, she told the group how she had come from Italy 4 years prior and how arriving in Cusco, every thing had changed. No explanation needed but the light in her eyes as she spoke this, there was no doubt. Hard as it is not to covet, I imagined myself staying and coming to shine like her. But no path is truly alike and I have work to do elsewhere; Within, as the obvious start. Yet how incredible our guides and inspirations are to find us when we seek them.
Upon glimpsing her down below, the tea tastes better and the world looks brighter. My heart longed for her to come closer, perhaps inside and up the stairs. But this is not the place for her. To see her in these surroundings might shatter the ideal, far too great a risk. This way I can maintain, that butterflies do not belong in Starbucks.