Before You Go To Sleep

We can get used to any thing, any situation or environment. I have seen this and I have experienced it too. It is part of the human nature, to adapt. But what about when this adaptability is not serving our evolution but distracting from it? We watch the same lame shows every night, eat the same crappy food, have the same senseless arguments with loved ones and return to the same unfulfilling job each morning. This might sound extreme, of course some have it much worse but not us, we find real joy and inspiration in many things, or at least a few…right?

So why don’t we often step back to assess our situation? And if we do and are not satisfied by what we see, what stops us from creating change? By now we must have been told that we are the creators of our own lives. That we are the only ones who will truly complete and absolutely love our selves. If not, take a moment to consider this and please, let it sink in. This is the most compelling thing I have yet to learn and continue to work with. So why do we get so stuck in this pursuit of a truly worthwhile life? We can blame the outside world; the bills to pay, people to please, societal norms to live up to…And of course we have created a world so ripe with distraction that we are more than encouraged to carry out this thoughtless, lifeless ‘living’. Or maybe you care less about the world around you but lack the confidence within. There is a lot of fear on earth today. Maybe you are afraid of your own potential and what would happen should you leap towards it. Maybe we are satisfied or haunted by those few brief moments before sleep when we really wonder what it’s all about and where we are headed. And then the alarm goes and there are things to do, so the cycle continues.

This is not meant to be discouraging, but to connect us with a truth so often brushed over. To know that most all of us hunger for more than we are receiving and are simply not ready to ask for it, to go for it full on.

I spent years of my life so complacent. Seeking any and all distraction to keep myself from my self; drugs, drama, food, media, men and sleep worked sometimes too. At the same time, I always took chances and sought big changes, knowing intuitively that this life I had created could not be it. There was something great that I was intended for and that knowing would never leave.

Now, the more I work to understand my real nature, the undying self within, I am so much less afraid. I don’t mind trying things and I don’t expect so much from the material world. I am working to use this life, this place, as a type of playground or school for learning and playing. We’ll all fall and even fail but it doesn’t really matter. Those moments before sleep, no longer filled by hope and longing, can now be used for smiling.


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